New beginnings

The last couple of weeks have been filled with end of school events, last-minute-scramble-to-get-good-grades, and graduation activities. We have two boys in our home who graduated and we couldn't be prouder of them. We had a party for them in our home with their friends and family... and I spent the whole day getting choked up. I'm not sure why, they are not my boys (although I love them to pieces). I keep thinking about what an exciting time it was to graduate and also the sense of having a new beginning and what will be made of it. Maybe their circumstances have not always been ideal but they are in charge of what happens now. It's a clean slate. Nothing is more liberating...and frightening. Now there is no one to lay the blame on. You are responsible and accountable for all that happens going forward...good or bad.

I am 20 something years out from that moment and I am not at all where I thought I would be on my graduation day, but I couldn't be happier. Really, life unfolds in such an amazing way and while we have these grand plans on that big day, your path rarely stays true to them, and it's OK. Things have happened that I wish I could change, but I might have missed out on the extraordinary lessons that have formed me. There have been so many unexpected blessings, though, that offset those disappointments. I'm not a teacher, I started school to be one, never graduated. I had a 4 year old who was having seizures and another on the way when I decided that was no longer a priority for me. That particular "dream" had been replaced with a much better reality. Not better that my son was having seizures, but that my family was so much more important to me than checking that particular box. I've never regretted it. A few years ago we were planning how we would spend our time when our two boys were out of the house, then we had a third child...completely unexpected... and such an amazing gift for all of us. It's OK that those plans are on hold, this experience is so much richer.

I don't know what the future holds for these boys, but this Gary Allen song keeps running through my head:

But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But its a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

They are bright young men and have overcome their circumstances. I am hope filled!

Until next time,

Julie