Our Forever House

"If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree."  ~Jim Rohn

For years we moved where ever the navy sent us. While we were in places long enough to buy a house and actually make it our own, there were certain things we weren't willing to invest in because we knew it was not our "forever" house. We're feeling that again. We're getting restless and realizing that we're waiting for our next "orders". We have come to the conclusion that our "forever" house is in heaven. This is not to say that we won't end up someplace permanently at some point we just aren't there yet. Keegan will graduate in the spring and will be attending college somewhere else, could be as close as Bloomington, IN or as far as Charleston, SC. Regardless, there will be nothing really keeping us here, our families are far away and all the older boys are moving on. As usual, with every town we've been in we have met amazing people. I know we weren't particularly great friends to many as far as reciprocating their generosity (we had our hands full with teens this time around, some not even our own), but so many of you were great to us and that was such a blessing.

Now we start the prep for whatever is next. For 2.5 years we have lived here with some projects that we planned to get around to. The pressure is on since we're hoping to put the house on the market in the spring. We have made lists of jobs and are slowly ticking off the boxes. Each time one is completed I wonder why I let it sit. My family and I deserved to live in a complete home. Why do I prep it for strangers and not the people I love? Crazy! Lesson learned! I will say I'm so grateful that we have mad DIY skills. Being in the military forced us to learn things we may never have learned otherwise, mostly because we were poor enough that the "professionals" were not an option. But also, when Brian was gone I had to learn to do it myself or wait for months until he came home. Together we're a pretty awesome team.

Our future is a bit hazy right now. We may just move up the road a ways if Keegan goes to IU or maybe Duke will have a position available that Brian can't resist in some other state. There is no rush, just the anticipation of what comes next and the knowledge that this is not our "forever" house.

Until next time,
Julie

K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple, Stupid. My new motto.

I'm finding the older I get the less I want. There are very few things that I really value and none of them are "things": faith, family, friends, and travel. That's pretty much it. Once upon a time I aspired to having a big house and decorating it with cute things. I love our house, but it's too much. The upkeep is crazy time consuming, whether it be cleaning it or fixing something, and often expensive. And the chotchkies all over the place, aside from the ones we've gotten traveling or our personal photos, the rest is just stuff I have to dust. How often do I "treasure" that thing I found in Target 2 years ago? It may have spoken to me at the time, but now it sits on the shelf and the only time I look at it is when I have to clean it (and then it's with resentment). You should see my bathroom drawers and shelves, (actually NO that would be horrifying) filled with lotions and potions and makeup that I never use. I imagine most of it is bad at this point, those things have shelf lives I hear. My closet is filled with clothes, some are so old they are out of style (if they were ever in style, that's not really my thing either). If it's not jeans and t-shirts, it just hangs.

My retired mom decided a couple of years ago to throw all her stuff in storage and travel around in her motor home. She has had a blast! She spends a month here or there, travels to see her kids and grand kids and lives full time in that little house on wheels. Talk about having to simplify down to the basics. She cruises through her hometown to switch out summer to winter clothes or vice versa. I envy her being able to do that. Clearly, we are not in a place right now where that is possible. We have kids in school and Brian has a full time job, so that kind of travel is out for now. The simplifying is totally doable! We recently bought a camper and have gone camping a couple of times and had a great time. We essentially chose to leave our big house to stay in a TINY apartment for a few days and missed NOTHING. Obviously, living on top of each other like that would get old after a while, it's an extreme the other direction. However, it takes 5 minutes to clean the whole camper and the rest of the day is ours. We had so much more time to "play". I'm all about that!

My point, I suppose, is that I feel like I'm crazy busy doing things I'd rather not be doing... and I've done it to myself. Why have I created this high maintenance lifestyle? I didn't do spring cleaning this year, but I'm feeling a Fall dump run coming on... ;)

Until next time,
Julie

Balance...I have none!

It's been a while since I've blogged about anything. This summer has been fairly busy and (insert several other excuses here). I seem to be having a problem finding balance both figuratively and literally. I love that I'm not having to track anyone's grades or extracurricular mandatory activities, as I have to do during the school year, however things are still hectic for whatever reason. Brian and Keegan both work and finding opportunity to do things together is very difficult and somewhat discouraging. Brian has had to travel quite a bit and Keegan is in the food industry so his hours vary. James, one of our extra "sons", had to have surgery at the beginning of the summer and so has been in recoup mode for the last few weeks. I have had the annoying addition of bouts of vertigo and a fairly aggressive ear infection that doesn't seem to want to go away. I took some heavy duty meds for a couple of weeks, but as I sit here there is still quite a bit of pressure and the walls of my house occasionally jump out and get me. Let's hope that will end soon.

With everyone, except Kieran, being adults now finding opportunity to spend time together as a family has all but diminished. Our family meals which have always been opportunity to connect at the end of the day often include several empty chairs these days. I'm begrudgingly adjusting to this new lifestyle. I miss my babies, but I'm really proud of the men the are becoming. They are for the most part responsible productive members of our society as they should be. We, as parents, seem to be doing our job right.

All is not lost, though. In the midst of it all we find little pockets of time to be together. We have family nights watching a movie or playing games, even if we are missing someone. We just spent several days in our camper out at Spring Mill, IN. It was so nice and quiet. We spent our time playing games, walking the park, eating yummy food, and just generally stayed disconnected from our normal life. There was no wi-fi and very limited cell service and that was OK with us. Keegan is in Honduras on a mission trip so the only updates we really wanted were from their leader. It was hard to come back. I like my kids, I miss them because I really like them. I like to visit with them and cut up about silly stuff. I like having conversations with them whether it be in depth or nonsense. I like watching them interact with each other. I like that we are happy to be together when we can be. I like that Kevin wants to come home from college and hang out with us. It's not the quantity of time I hoped for, but I'm going to make sure the quality is there. Maybe we can't do everything with everyone, but the things we can do...we're all in!

Until next time,
Julie

New beginnings

The last couple of weeks have been filled with end of school events, last-minute-scramble-to-get-good-grades, and graduation activities. We have two boys in our home who graduated and we couldn't be prouder of them. We had a party for them in our home with their friends and family... and I spent the whole day getting choked up. I'm not sure why, they are not my boys (although I love them to pieces). I keep thinking about what an exciting time it was to graduate and also the sense of having a new beginning and what will be made of it. Maybe their circumstances have not always been ideal but they are in charge of what happens now. It's a clean slate. Nothing is more liberating...and frightening. Now there is no one to lay the blame on. You are responsible and accountable for all that happens going forward...good or bad.

I am 20 something years out from that moment and I am not at all where I thought I would be on my graduation day, but I couldn't be happier. Really, life unfolds in such an amazing way and while we have these grand plans on that big day, your path rarely stays true to them, and it's OK. Things have happened that I wish I could change, but I might have missed out on the extraordinary lessons that have formed me. There have been so many unexpected blessings, though, that offset those disappointments. I'm not a teacher, I started school to be one, never graduated. I had a 4 year old who was having seizures and another on the way when I decided that was no longer a priority for me. That particular "dream" had been replaced with a much better reality. Not better that my son was having seizures, but that my family was so much more important to me than checking that particular box. I've never regretted it. A few years ago we were planning how we would spend our time when our two boys were out of the house, then we had a third child...completely unexpected... and such an amazing gift for all of us. It's OK that those plans are on hold, this experience is so much richer.

I don't know what the future holds for these boys, but this Gary Allen song keeps running through my head:

But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But its a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

They are bright young men and have overcome their circumstances. I am hope filled!

Until next time,

Julie

White Girl

Every spring I put on my shorts for the first time of the season and in my head I hear in a deep rumbly voice, "Oooo, Girl, you're about the whitest thing I ever did see." It still makes me laugh because it was said by the darkest man I have ever met. One of our son's closest friend's grandparents lived in our neighborhood and he played at their home quite a bit. I used to go shopping with his "Mimi" and the boys would stay with his grandpa. His grandpa was washing the car when I walked up in shorts for the first time one spring and that is what I heard. He then walked over, held his arm down next to my leg, shook his head, and went back to washing the car.

I fall into the redhead/white skin category. We have two skin color options, red or white, and you know red heads should stay away from red...it clashes with our hair. Truly my hair is strawberry blond but my skin doesn't seem to get the distinction. Since skin cancer tends to run in the family I slather up before going outside so I can keep my pasty skin... well, pasty. Also like a true redhead I have freckles on every spot of my body. I don't get to have the beautiful porcelain white skin to make up for lack of being able to tan. Awesome!

This almost complete lack of melanin used to bother me. I wasn't going to ever be the cute tan girl in the bikini, you should put shades on to look my direction at the pool. I have grown accustomed to my skin over the years and now I actually own it. It's all good! Because I have stayed out of the sun or drowned myself in sunscreen, I have managed to stay a bit fresher. It has slowed the aging process down for me and I can't say I'm unhappy about that. It's fun to still get carded occasionally, not because I look under 21 but apparently younger than I am. I'll take it.

So when you see all the pics this summer of the hot babes on the beach, I'm the pasty white girl in the back ground.

Until next time,
Julie

Five Men and a Baby

We felt called and have the ability to help out a couple of young men who, through circumstances outside of their control, needed a place to crash. They have been with us for a couple of weeks now and will continue to be until they graduate high school and move on to their perspective AIT schools in mid June (both in the National Guard). They are good men, will graduate from Lincoln with honors, and have a wicked sense of humor so fit right in to our family. They are also great with the little man, who LOVES having all these guys around. There is never a dull moment in this house. However, having 5 men and a baby is a challenge, to say the least. We have friends who have larger families than this and I applaud them! 

Where do I put all these people? When I brought the oldest home from college he took over his usual space, the den with the pull out couch and all the amenities. So we now have my middle son sharing his room with our two guests. There are two beds in there with another twin mattress tucked under that is pulled out at night. The beds are just for crashing, though, because frankly that room has turned into gaming central. There are two large TVs in there with every imaginable system hooked up as well as the computer in the corner with it's dual screens. Apparently, we can't all play the same game at the same time on ONE TV. To top it off, another TV was brought in last night and hooked up in the basement with even more systems. Wow! The extra TVs actually belong to our guests who obviously came with LOTS of electronics...and baggage...

We have set up a system in the bathroom so that each one has a hook for a towel with their names above it and a laundry bag system, again, labeled for their convenience. Should anything actually end up in there remains to be seen as most of the time the floor is carpeted with clothing...clean, dirty? Who knows... I don't do it. I've showed them all how to use the machines, good luck with that. There are several large built in drawers in that bathroom so they have each been given drawers for their clothing and half of a closet to hang things. The good thing, I suppose, is they are all going military so they might as well get used to sharing tight quarters. 

Food! Oy! Can you keep enough food in the house for men? Short answer...NO! I try to cook a few meals a week and have pizza, sandwich, or hot dog nights to offset that. Thankfully, because they are all in school until May 24th they eat breakfast and lunch there during the week. My job is just to provide dinners. They are responsible for their own snacking. I will say, that I have loved having a full table for dinner. We laugh and listen to them tell stories and share our day. Nothing beats that in my book. 

Is it tight? Yes. Is it chaotic? Yes. Would I change anything? No. We have been blessed by these boys and hope that God will bless them while they are in our home and in their futures.

Until next time,

Julie

Vacation Season...Woo Hoo!

The kids are in the final stretch of school so we are trying to plan our vacation. I've mentioned that we will be camping our way to Mt. Rushmore, and we've also decided to hit up Albuquerque for the Balloon Fiesta this year, which has the added bonus of visiting my folks and my brother. Seriously, you know it's the other way around, it was time to go home and visit but we've decided to do it during the Balloon Fiesta. I'm excited for both trips.

I believe vacations have a cycle. Here's the pattern: (This applies to those of us who left home and went far far away.) When you are young, broke, the only 'vacation' you take is to get home to see your family and since you will be staying with them you can 'afford' it. When you finally get a career and are doing OK, generally married with younger children,  you still go home for 'vacation' and see the family because you want your children to have a relationship with them. The years tick by and you're doing better financially, but the kids are in school and so vacations only happen in the summer and holidays. Typically you save the trip home to see the family for the holidays and try to squeeze in an actual we've-never-been-there vacation in the summer. Finally, you are doing well in your career but now the kid goes to college so it's back to broke...time to plan the trip home again.  I've finally realized why the commercials for these fabulous luxury vacations generally show more mature couples...not old, but empty nester age. Brian and I took our first real couple vacation last year, and we were only able to do that because my mom rocks and came out to hang with the kids. We won't be able to do it again for a while, just as we have one son finishing up college we'll have another going in, and of course helping them is more important.

I bring all of this up to say, planning vacations becomes serious business, as a result. We don't do them often and so they have to count. Brian starts throwing out ideas very early in the spring, generally huge unrealistic plans that I immediately shoot down. (I am the chief financial planner in this house.) Then over the following weeks we will narrow it down to more reasonable yet still fun destinations. It's an exciting time and we are all ready for a break. There will not be many more opportunities to travel with all my kids at the same time, they will grow and will leave and start their own vacation cycles. I have to soak up this time and store these memories away, because one day I'll be on vacation with Brian wishing I had the little rugrats running around me.

Until next time,
Julie