I have a little faith in me

I am sure the first time I popped up in God's ranks wearing my armor murmuring, "Do I have this on right? Is this a belt or a headband? Do these come in a smaller size, it's kind of heavy?" His first thought was, "Great, Julie has crossed over." But, His second thought was, "Where can I put her that she will cause the least amount of damage for my Kingdom."

I have always been a believer, I don't remember a time in my life when I didn't believe. I'm sure that comes from having Christian parents and a grandfather who was a minister. I don't have a before God...AFTER GOD moment. I think for a while I questioned whether I believed because I heard it all my life or if I really BELIEVED. Since then I've done enough craptastic things that left me with no one but God that I'm confidant it's the real deal.

So this amazing thing happens when you become a Christ follower, you are filled with His Spirit, who will teach and guide you if you let him. It's like having a Super Hero inside you that if you listen to the power and allow it to work, God will do amazing things using you...think Jesus. Wow! My problem is I'm not good at accessing that or focusing it. I have had great God moments where I think, "That was so cool, did you see that? That was all God right there!" But most of the time, my moments are less impressive. I feel the battle inside of things I should and shouldn't be doing and sometimes thumb my nose at both. That whole "free will" thing doesn't seem to work in my favor...ever...

I have served in many churches, in many ways, often taking on ministries that are about to dwindle away from lack of help, with the idea that I will just fill the space until a more qualified person comes along. Sometimes God makes me the qualified person. Other times, I've taken positions enthusiastically,  and while I know God equipped me for the job, I manage to muck it up or trip myself up. (insert God eye roll here) My point is, I'm trying. I don't jump every time I feel Him asking me to, but I'm not a complete slacker either. While I may not be in service with the church all the time, we really make an attempt to live our faith every day, hoping it reflects on those around us. I read, study, teach my kids, and pray without ceasing (the bible told me to... so if His ears are bleeding it's on Him). We have teens in and out of house all the time and whether they are mine or not they respect our praying at dinner, or they all tag along to Youth Group on Sunday night. It's who we are, we don't change it because they are in our home.

My faith is an amazing gift and I don't want to abuse it, so I'll keep trucking along and hoping that I will at least have a bench to sleep on somewhere in heaven. Thankfully, I do know I will be there! Now... where's my cape?

Until next time,
Julie