Cake

My son's birthday is today and I just spent a few hours sticking 405 tiles on his Minecraft cake, so had a few mindnumbing moments to think about the process that I go through when making cakes.

Let's pretend he's a client. He would be considered a difficult one, he likes chocolate and that's about all I get. This is where I would normally start the interrogation to get as much info about this person as I possibly can and start throwing out ideas. These ideas are generally shot down rapid fire, because while they don't know what they want...they absolutely know what they DON'T want. I will often throw out really crazy things because it does start making them focus their thoughts. Once we've narrowed it down, (in Keegan's case, I just made the executive decision to do Minecraft logo due to his current passion about it) I will draw (badly) a picture of what they seem to be visualizing. For this cake, I just uploaded the logo.

Next, I panic! Seriously, look at that thing. Can I really do this? This happens with every cake. No joke. I've been making them a while but what if I forgot what I'm doing? Or what if I flat out can't follow through on an idea. Ah!

So clearly this cake will need to be square, and it will need enough layers to be a perfect cube. That math I didn't think I needed...I suddenly need. Obviously, the cake pan determines the length and width for me, but then I have to make it the same height, which involves how many inches cake + how much icing in between = this many perfectly high inches. Snore.... Needless to say, we have a cube. I then dirty ice it and stick it in the freezer. Dirty ice, just means a thin coat of icing that will hold down all the crumbs (once chilled) so that when you are ready to really ice it you get a beautiful crumb free icing. Try it, makes life so much easier.

Right now it's pretty ugly, and pretty scary. Hate when people drop in at this stage, then we're all panicked. I don't need it to be smooth since I'm putting all those tiny tiles on it.  I do need to put enough icing on to taste good and for the tiles to sink in to when I press them flat to appear to be a smooth wall of tiles. The reason for the brown and green icing? Think grout. Actually from here on out, think tiling and grouting. The tiles are not perfect and so some of the icing might show through and we wouldn't want it to be white, that doesn't match. Tacky! Now starts the mindnumbing part. Cutting all those tiles...

...and sticking them on the cake...

...and we're tiling...and we're tiling...Oy! 

Finally I finish up, grab a large flat paddle and smoosh all the tiles in and hope nothing is gushing out the other side. I try to make the walls appear as flat as possible and the cube to appear to be...well, cube like. I then transfer the cake to a clean board, put some kind of edge around the bottom, and write cute things on it. 

Perhaps not as complicated as you thought, but often way more time consuming than you think.

That will be $1,000,000, please.

Until next time,

Julie

HAL 9000

Every time I get on FB and see the prompt "How are you doing, Julie?" or "What are you doing, Julie?" I hear it as HAL 9000 from "A Space Odyssey."

I'll be honest, it creeps me out a little. I like FB  I like seeing what everyone is up to and love seeing pics of my family and friends who live far away. It makes me feel connected in some small way.

This post is not actually about FB so much as it is about computers in general. We have a Mac we inherited from hubby's dad when he passed. It's awesome and easy to use...and smarter than me. It irritates me. I can't help but think my computer is mocking me at times or intentionally thwarting my efforts to do something. I know that all software programs are written by man.  I often try to visualize who the creators might be as I'm working on things. We have software that tries to think ahead of me, like Auto Correct, and generally messes me up because it doesn't know me, knock it off, I can do this myself. I'm fairly certain it was written by a lovely English teacher, who essentially is red marking my paper as I write it. "Just trying to help, dear." We also have software that requires a large manual just to do basic things, like Photoshop. I know that the computer is staring at me and snickering because I can't alter this picture and it's not going to help me. I'm positive Photoshop creator is a snobby New York photographer that "graced" us with this program and if I'm not smart enough to use it, well that's on me. I'm sure once I read the Photoshop Bible I too will have perfect photos, but getting there...frustrating!

So while the idea of HAL 9000 still creeps me out a little, I would love to be able to prompt my computer to either back off or help me out and have it respond accordingly...without the whole trying to kill me thing.

Until next time,
Julie

Punctuation

I don't know who reads this, even though I mentioned all the stats they send me in another blog, I don't see your names or any other info about you. I do know some really smart people, so thought I should talk a little about punctuation (and grammar too, for that matter) because, clearly, I abuse it. I'm sorry.

I love punctuation: semi-colons, colons, parenthesis, commas, periods, exclamation points. They are all so fun to sprinkle throughout my writing. I write how I talk, if I paused there I'm going to put some form of punctuation. If I have a thought in the middle of a sentence I might throw some brackets or parenthesis around it. I don't really remember the rules for all of these and, to be honest, I don't really feel like looking them up. I'm sure I have sentences that run on and on, and some that are missing key things like a subject or other very important part that make a sentence complete. I fall into the your, you're, to, too, affect, effect trap all the time. I generally try to catch it but if I don't, meh...

I'm sure this is making all of my smart friends very uncomfortable. I blame all this new fangled technology on my casual use of the English language/punctuation. I can type on my phone, my pad, or my computer. I can FB, or tweet, or text, and the shorter the better as long as I've made my point. Based on my kids texts, I'm thinking you should be happy that I use any punctuation at all, capitalize the beginning of my sentences, and put vowels in all my words. I'm brilliant comparatively.

I'm not proud of these errors, but I'm also not writing a speech for the president or a boss. I'm not filling out applications or writing essays to professors. I'm at home with my kids, cleaning my house...kinda, and trying to be a good wife. If I have five minutes to fill you in on something it's probably gonna be fast and dirty.

Until next time,
Julie

Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken

I had this sign in my house when I was going through my everything-in-the-kitchen-must-have-a-chicken-on-it phase. I bought it when my older two were little boys, because it so captured how I felt at that time. I took it down when they were old enough to understand what it implied. Low and behold we have another and it still applies. Don't get your undies in a knot! I love my boys. They are awesome, but there is always some truth to those quotes we post or they wouldn't be funny. While I'm writing this, a song from the Music Man is running through my head, "Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep, cheep, cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more," another chicken analogy. Does this not sound like little kids to you? Examples, not even personal ones because pretty sure we all have had these experiences:

"Mom, mom, mom, mommy, mom, MOM, MOMMY" I'm looking right at him.  ...peck, peck, peck...

Haven't said two words to you all day, and then the phone rings and they won't leave you alone the entire time you're on it. ...peck, peck, peck...

Fingers under the bathroom door while you're in it.  ...peck, peck, peck...

"Look at me. Look. WATCH! Look at me. Look what I can do" ...peck, peck, peck...

Tears around the house like a tornado, but when you need them to hurry so you can go somewhere s u d d e n l y  s h i f t  t o  s l o w  m o t i o n.   ...peck, peck, peck...

"I'm hungry, NOW!" "Get me some food!" "I'm starving!" As I'm rushing around making dinner, but as soon as I put the plate down he takes two bites and is done.   ...peck, peck, peck...

Sound affects all day long.  Every toy not only has it's own built in sounds but the boys added spits, beeps, roars, and crashes.  ...peck, peck, peck...

Ok, enough, I'm annoying myself, you get the idea. I really do love little kids and wouldn't trade mine for the world, there are just times or even moments in time where I just need a minute...just one minute that is quiet, so I can catch my breath and prepare for the next attack.

Then the teen comes home...we'll tackle that another day.

They sure are precious when their sleeping.
Julie

Blogging

I didn't blog yesterday we had a busy day between little man not feeling well, church, and heading out for a Super Bowl Party. Besides, I probably won't write something everyday, my life is just not that fascinating.

This blogging thing has been fun for me. I pretty much sit here, write a few paragraphs, and send it out into the universe. I have been caught off guard a couple of times because someone will say something, in person, about what I've written and I have to sit there and process that for a minute, "Hmm, I don't remember talking to you about that." Duh! I guess I didn't really expect anyone to read it?! Also, having not researched this before starting (that's pretty much how I roll) I didn't realize they track so much information, not only how many people have read the blog, but daily stats, traffic sources, countries...and there are graphs and charts and WHAT??? Suddenly I feel all this pressure! This thing that is just supposed to be a fluid way for me to throw out opinions or ideas has been WAY over analyzed. Really! I don't need to know all of that. I'm not selling anything or advertising anything. Heck, I'm not even paying to use the service. I don't know anybody in Germany, why are they reading my nonsense? Yikes! Should I be more thoughtful in my blogs, but why? The whole point of it is I'm just an average mom and this is how we average people get through our days. So I'm choosing to not pay attention to any of that and carry on with the original plan. Deep breath...exhale.

Bis zum nachsten Mal (Until next time... in German...or something like that)
Julie

Weekends, UGH!

All posts will not be filled with humor, some of them will just be pathetic...like this one.

"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, what do you want to do?"
"We could go to the store?"
"Do you need anything?"
"No..."

I would love to say that I enjoy weekends, but I don't. I'm sure this is a foreign concept for many of you as you live for the weekends. I like routine. I like the hamster wheel. It's predictable. Weekends are too much unplanned time for me. I know... I know... I could make plans and sometimes do, but we play this game where none of us wants to plan the others weekend, it would be rude. So instead we have NO plan. There are a few things that happen consistently, I get to sleep in on Saturdays, hubby gets to sleep in on Sundays, and of course church on Sunday mornings. (Oh, and teen will have all his friends over here all weekend from the moment they pile off the bus on Friday. I do love those kids, though!)

I think, unfortunately, we get the work hard aspect of life, but are forgetting how to play. It is more complicated when the kids are so far apart in age. What can we do that both a 3 year old and 16 year old are going to find interesting or entertaining? (Being in a small town complicates it further.) Therein, lies the dilemma. So we spend time doing with one or the other or leaving them behind for "dates".

So where am I going with this? No seriously, I'm asking? Maybe for now this is just where we are in life, and don't get me wrong...life is good. I'm just not a fan of weekends. Right now they are more work than week days. See...pathetic...sigh...

Julie

Housecleaning, this will be short, I don't do it.

     When my older two were young I cleaned like a mad person. They were not going to get dirty on my watch. I was on top of clutter, laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc. I was always doing something. The house was clean, the kids were clean, and I was exhausted. I was also incredibly resentful. I spent most moments of the day thinking, "I just cleaned that!"

     Guess what, I'm over it!

     I'm a housewife, not a maid. Dirt happens! I had to find a happy balance for me so that I could be part of this family without feeling like the unpaid help. Now I keep clutter under control and concentrate on the bathrooms and the kitchen, because those are the rooms I feel should be clean. We have this great rule in our house: If you make dinner, you don't clean up the dinner dishes. Woo Hoo! I came up with that...points for me! That doesn't  necessarily mean the floors in those rooms are cleaned everyday, though. I sweep when the floors feel crunchy. Mopping consists of putting a clorox clean up wipe under each foot and skating around the kitchen. I vacuum when I can see stuff on the carpet. I hand my little man the swiffer and let him take care of the dusting. That's right, nothing above 4 feet high is dusted. I'll get to it...eventually. I do try to do a load of laundry a day, but am not always successful. My middle son's room looks like a bomb went off, does it bother me? YES, but not enough to get in there and do something about it. Besides, if he wants to go somewhere bad enough it gets cleaned. I have the honor of being married to an amazing man who takes care of all outside duties, is open to some inside chores, and helps with the child rearing. Big points to him, since I'm not a fan of outside duties.

     So what does this mean? There are dust bunnies in the corner, spiderwebs on the ceilings, the baseboards could use a good scrubbing, but I'm much happier now. I'll worry about being spotless after the kids leave home. Besides, it builds up their immunities, right?

Julie

PS Warn me before you come over, I'll clean a spot for you to sit a spell.